This week on Video Game Tuesday I’m talking about something I’ve been doing an experiment on for the last two months.

This is Syl, my character in Final Fantasy 14: A Realm Reborn. For the last two months I’ve been roleplaying as a female, and not just as a female character, but as a female player. I wanted to see what would happen if I declared I was a female, and if believed what people’s reactions to me would be.

I expected to be treated pretty much the same, and for the most part I was. However there were some very disturbing occasions where I was cussed at and called terrible slurs because I claimed to be a woman. I’m horrified at that, partly because I was raised to treat women better than I treated men, but mainly because of how vile the slurs were. I’m disappointed that for some men they hate the idea of a woman gaming in their little world. I for one have always treated people the same, regardless of gender, and while I’m not the most compassionate of people I do tend to be more helpful than rude.

I was also hit on incessantly, which was more disturbing and unsettling to me than it was humorous. Having constant romantic, or sexual, advances forced upon me was unnerving even though I knew I wasn’t really who they thought I was. I’m ashamed to have called myself a “gamer” when so many of my “gamer” peers are rude assholes.

Now some male friends of mine have said, well the bad can’t be the only things I ever got in return for declaring myself as a woman. That’s true, I received on one occassion a gift that probably would’ve been given to me even if I wasn’t roleplaying as a female.

I came in hoping to be treated well, and for about 50% of the time I was. Of that 50%, half of that time was from actual female players who took me into their confidences and became good friends of mine. One of them I came to rely upon often to help keep up the act of being a female to the others, because for this one player I really didn’t want to lie about who I really was. To the others, I’m sorry for lying to you, and while I’m really a guy, I still would be your friend if you would still have me as one.

The rest of the time I was treated horribly, told to commit suicide 3 separate times, and had romantic and sexual advances foisted upon me endlessly. I’m ashamed that the community I am a part of is so rude to half the human population.

To all the female gamers out there who experience daily what I experienced for the last two months I have the utmost respect for you, you are more compassionate and tolerant than I could ever be. I’d have quit playing video games years ago if I experienced this every day, and the fact that you don’t let rude assholes get to you despite the unending waves of them is one of the most amazing things I can think of.

To the male gamers who do the things done to me in the last two months, quit acting like spoiled children and really grow up. You have no more right to play video games than anyone else, and certainly have no right to insult, degrade or harass those around you because they may or may not be female.

To my female friend who helped me maintain the mask, thank you very much and I will always, always remember the lessons you helped teach to me.

That’s it for Video Game Tuesday for this week.