Welcome Time Wasters!
I’m still on my mobile kick after getting my new smartphone. Funny thing about it is that I don’t want to be. I’m actually having some computer troubles that’s keeping me from playing some games I’ve been meaning to, but you can ready about that in my editorial that’s going to go up on Thursday.
This week I played a game called Bass Jump. As the title suggests, this game has players doing a lot of jumping while listening to music. The gameplay only requires users to tap their screen to jump from one wall to another while moving forward at a constant rate. There are several different levels of difficulty to play on and it offers a fair bit of challenge.
The visual’s in Bass Jump are pretty pleasing to the eye. The game has a full black background and the square that the player controls is also brightly colored. Lines that represent walls and the holes that players can fall into stick out well, which means that mistakes are the player’s fault. Players can also choose to buy new colors and shapes to play with with money earned in game or bought with real money.
Fair warning: You’ve officially read the last good thing I have to say about this piece of junk game.
So, I just talked about how Bass Jump has a store, right? Shapes and colors aren’t the only things that can be purchased in this store. There’s also music that can be bought so that player’s have a variety to listen to while playing the game. This doesn’t sound bad, until I tell you that all the extra music that the game offers comes from the player’s personal library on their phone. That’s right, this game has the nerve to try and sell player’s their own music. That is freaking stupid!
Alright, so I played Bass Jump for a while and I accumulated enough coins to “Buy” several of MY songs that I ALREADY OWN (Seriously, I can’t get over how stupid of a concept that is). I turned off the one generic song that comes with the game and turned on one of my own songs to test out the feature…and it starts playing the generic song again. I tested this out with a few more songs and discovered that the game just sometimes doesn’t like to play certain songs, despite them all being in MP3 format.
From my own personal experience, I’ve found that ever one in three songs the player “Buys” will actually work with the game. The game also has a problem when trying to loop a single song or move onto the next track. It’ll just freak out and go quiet. I’ve had it do the same thing when an ad pops up and it won’t start playing again unless I go to the store and click on one of my purchased songs.
Oh gosh, let’s talk about trying to navigate your music library via this load of crap. See, Bass Jump just grabs every single audio file on your smartphone and throws it into one giant lump of music. I’ve got right around 5GB of music on my phone and this made it nigh impossible to actually find a song I wanted to purchase or play. Same goes for trying to turn music on after the game wigs out and shuts it off.
With a name like Bass Jump, you might be thinking that this game is rhythm-based. Who could really blame you? I did just spend all this time talking about the game’s audio options and it definitely tries to make it a focus as well. However, the game doesn’t rely on rhythm at all. Playing one song won’t get the player any different type of level than what another song will. This is such a huge missed opportunity for the game. I was so looking forward to tapping away at my phone to the beats of some of my favorite songs, but that would’ve actually required the developer to actually put some work into this game, and it’s quite apparent that this was never their goal.
Tired of the rant? Good, cause I’m tired of playing this waste of time. It’s gone. It’s off my phone and it’s never returning. Please avoid this game. Don’t let these yahoos make money off you via ads and you play their weak attempt at a game. This game persevered to be buried in the cesspool depths of the Google Play Store with all the one star games.
TL:DR — Bass Jump will make you want to go base jumping without a parachute.
Bass Jump gets 1 GiN Gem out of 5!